December 1, 2008 at 5:55 am (Blessed, Church, Funny, Life)

Man, do I love worship. It’s the time when God and I become really close. Where we are undone in the presence of God.  Where I feel he is holding me in his arms making me feel better. It’s where I hear his voice more than I do any other place. Everyone should have a place where it’s just them and God. It may not be worship, it could be something totally different.

The big question is: Do you worship God for something? To impress someone? To act like you are super close to God? Or, do you just worship God for him?

Why do you worship?

It seems that people go to God seeking the answers for this questions: Why don’t I have this or that? They seem to be very unhappy with what they have. God sees the whole picture, we don’t. We might think that this boyfriend or girlfriend, this shoe or book, this iphone or this big tv will make us happy and we will tell God if you let me have this, I won’t ask for anything else. I know this will make me happy, but God knows best.

God is always blessing me, whether I see it or don’t. God wants us to be happy not unhappy. He has blessed everyone just because he died on the cross for all of our sins.  That’s all that we need, but we are selfish people here on earth. We don’t think that’s all we need.

The next Big question is: Do you tithe trusting him or do you have very little faith. God promies that he will take care of us. Now that is not always easy to believe, but we need to TRUST, HOPE and BELIEVE that God is our provider.


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November 17, 2008 at 3:18 pm (Life, Trusting)

Do you ever have a dream that gets crushed?

I have always been told to dream big. I have dreamed this dream for two or more years. I thought it was coming to be.  This weekend it was just crushed. I am very disappointed and very confused. I have cried a lot and felt very sick. Sick to the point that I just want to throw up!

I am learning that it really hurts,sucks and is painful. I will be alright though. God has me in his hands.God counts every tear I cry and it breaks his heart. I will have a couple days of hurting and then I am going to start dreaming BIG again or at least try. I know God probably has better plans for me and I need  to trust that. I don’t understand why this is happening this way but I need to trust God.

I know that this other person is pretty hurt too. I really believe its not this persons fault. This person is doing what others are telling him is the right thing to do even though its hard. We both are just really confused. Maybe this is for the good. God, I just don’t know!

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Friday = very hard, many tears

October 5, 2008 at 4:48 am (Life)

My Friday work day was very hard! There will be more to come about it, sometime later.

There were many tears after work. My eyes were very red by the end of the day.

Sometimes I don’t understand why people say and do the things that they do.

Later that night was better though 🙂

Have you ever had a day where you just need to cry it out because you had a bad day at work?

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September 9, 2008 at 2:37 am (Frustrated, Life)

I am a Senior this year! Go me!

There are up and downs to everything. School is a down for me. School is one of the hardest things in my life. I feel very dumb when it comes to being in class and  then doing the homework. I always work my hardest even though its hard. Every school year I start out with crying and thinking I can’t do it. I feel that way now. I have got all A’s, that’s because I work hard, not that I always get it right.

This year I only have two classes, physics and practical writing. This year is really easy compared to other years! Physics is really hard though. I don’t understand it. Every time I have done it so far I have cried. I want to give up. I feel so dumb because I feel everyone else understands it but me! 😦 It sucks feeling this way.

All I can do is pray God gives me the strength to get through this class.

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5 Love Languages

August 14, 2008 at 5:30 pm (Blessed, Life)

1. Words Of Affirmation

2. Quality Time

3. Receiving Gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

Quality time means spending time listening, sharing, doing ordinary things together and doing special things together. This language includes quality conversation.

My LOVE LANGUAGE is Quality Time! Quality time is very important to me. I can’t even begin to say how much it means to me. It breaks my heart when I don’t get time with people! I am going to be real right here: I cry when I I don’t get this time with people who are important to me. People don’t understand how much this means to me. I feel this week I haven’t gotten very much quality time with anyone. It sucks!

I don’t really have another love language. Quality time is a big thing to me. I love doing acts of service for other people but what really makes me happy is time.

What is your Love Language?

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Setting Your Boundaries

August 12, 2008 at 5:50 pm (Life)

I tend not to set my boundaries very well when it comes to giving. I will give until I have nothing else to give, Sometimes until I don’t want to give anymore. I love making people happy. I love giving. Making people happy is very important to me. That is one of the qualities that God has given me! I am so sweet to people. I am not trying to be conceited. Sometimes way too sweet.  If someone does not like me because I don’t give all the time, then that is a dumb reason not to like me. I give even when I don’t want to just to make people happy. I have realized this year I can’t make everyone happy! I see that I have gotten burned out. Yeah, burned out! It sucks!

I have come to a realization that I need to step back and take a break 😦 I will still give, just not as much. This is going to be hard for me because I love giving, But I have to.

Do you ever feel like you need to set boundaries?

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My new room!

July 28, 2008 at 8:58 pm (Blessed, Life)

If you didn’t know, my family likes to prank! I like it too. But I hate it when you have not been home for a week and come back to a mess. So before I left I told my family and friends I would be really upset if they did anything mean to my room!! I came back to this!

If you didn’t know, my room was orange and lime green before. It was kinda ugly. I was shocked. I was so excited. My room is beautiful now! Thanks to everyone who helped do my room. You’re awesome!

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Update on my mission trip!

July 10, 2008 at 8:51 pm (Blessed, Friends, Life, Trusting)

Only six days till I leave. I am so excited. It has come so fast. I will be gone eight days doing the will of God. I can’t wait to see what God is going to do there. I pray our team becomes even closer than we already are and falls even more in love with Jesus.

One of the things I was really worried about was getting all my money. I would pray that I would get money every week until I leave and that I would NOT have to use my money that I was saving to go to beauty school. Last week, I was going over to a friend’s house. When I was walking in I was praying and asking God to let someone gave me $l00 dollars. A friend was going to go on the trip but couldn’t and gave me a little of they money she had got. I was so blessed. I couldn’t believe it. God answer my prayer so fast. God is so faithful.

I think it can be so hard for me to be patient and just wait. Not that I was thinking that God wouldn’t provide but I was getting worried. God just wanted me to trust him.

Every week since I sent out my support letter, I have got one or two checks a week. Two weeks ago I still needed $450. That’s still a lot to me. I thought and had a big feeling I wasn’t going to get it. We had a BBQ at the church to raise money and didn’t think I would get very much with that either.

Yesterday, they told each of us the amount of money that we still needed. All I need is $85 dollars! Wow thats not much at all.

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God does speak to me!

June 7, 2008 at 10:45 pm (Blessed, Friends, God, Life, Trusting)

I was worshiping at youth group a couple nights ago. God really spoke to me that night about something that happened at the girl’s retreat. He was reminding me of what he told me up there.

At the girl’s retreat we had a time when we had to ask God certain questions that were in the book, then we had to share what God told us after ten or fifteen minutes. One of the the questions was:

” What does God think is unique about you?”

God clearly showed me something right then. I my eyes filled with tears because I would NEVER have thought that was unique about me. I actually thought the total opposite. I didn’t want to share it with the whole group. So everyone went around telling what God had said to them. The group got really deep. I was the last person to talk. In the time I was waiting, I was trying to say God will you please change it? I l don’t want to share it with the whole group, But God said “No”. God loves this about me. It finally got around to me. It was really hard to say it, but here it goes.

I have a learning disability. I hate talking about it. I feel some people won’t like me because of it. I never feel very smart when it comes to school stuff, I actually feel really dumb. I feel I am not as “cool” as everyone else. It makes me sad. Sometimes I used to feel that I wouldn’t find the right guy because of this. But God said, “This is how I made you. I love this about you. This makes you different from the world. The guy I have in mind for you will understand.” All I could think is Wow!

To bring it back to the worship night, God really spoke to me and reminded me about things he thinks are awesome that I didn’t think were awesome. God is incredible. God made me the way that I am and I guess that will never change. It is important to remember to treasure what God tells you to. God made me who I am and I know who I am. I guess the learning disability is a gift and not a curse.

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June 6, 2008 at 11:58 pm (Blessed, Family, Frustrated, Funny, Life)

First off, Stina is awesome. She is my older sister! I love her to death. She has been gone since she finished high school. She went to YWAM and has only come back to visit us and that’s not very much. I couldn’t ask for a better older sister. I can’t even begin to explain how much I love her. I am very close to my sister.

I can’t wait for her to come back. We always have a great time together. She will be back for the whole summer too. How awesome is that? I get in weird moods when I am around her. I can be myself around her. I love it when she is back because I get in singing moods and go crazy. She loves it. Stina, be ready for singing when you get back! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Stina can sometimes be a pain in the butt and I mean a big one. If you don’t believe that, listen to this: I was over visiting at our neighbor’s house one day. Stina called on the phone at my friend’s house saying “Mom needs your help.” Being the good girl that I am, I came home. Mom didn’t really want me. Stina wanted me to get glass of ICE WATER for HER. I refused to get it for her and went back to my friend’s house.

When I was around six years old, she told me that I was born without a head and they had to sew one on. I know it sounds crazy, but I believed her. I cried all of the time because of that.

She would put toothpaste in every pair of underwear in our house (other than her own.) It dried clear and you couldn’t see it. So you would try on a pair, it felt gross, but you didn’t know why. It was disgusting. Every pair! She thought that it was funny. Then one day before church when I was in the shower she put ALL my underwear in a big bowl of water and froze it, so that I would not have underwear for days. I was so mad.

When I was younger, I was a clean freak. I would not even sleep under my covers because I couldn’t stand them being messy. One day Stina and a friend moved everything around in my room and then t.p.’d it. I was screaming when I found out. I was so freaking mad.

But with all that said, she is an awesome sister. I always enjoyed going to youth group with her. She was my bigger sister. She made me feel very welcome. When she was out of high school every time I went it was not the same. I didn’t have her next to me when I needed her.

I love when we snuggle in bed and talk, when we watch a bunch of movies together, when I am just with her. I had a blast when I went to California to visit her. We laughed so hard. We got to go to the beach together and walk around. I got to meet all her friends. I hope I get to go back next year. My sister is really a blessing. Whoever is around her will be blessed.

Fun times in California!

Thanks for being an AMAZING sister to me. I could never ask for a better older sister!


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